Dani's Dirt

I wasn’t going to write about My Someone this week. Two posts in a row is just too much. Branch out Danielle, don’t be that girl.

However, the two blog post story ideas for this week were turkey hunting and chickens calling, both of which involved My Someone.

So I wasn’t going to write one at all, until I thought of something else. But then the writing bug hit and I thought, “Ahh to heck with it.”

Alas, I’m that girl.

It’s turkey season! Whoop Whoop!

In the past, my experience with turkey season never involved ammunition. I was armed only with camera equipment. I even have the shirt to prove it.

My Someone didn’t get that memo. The day before our first hunting-togetherness experience he handed me a shotgun and some shells and proceeded to begin drawing a turkey head on a piece of paper.

The title of my blog alone should tell you, this wasn’t my first rodeo with a shotgun, but nevertheless, I was confused as to my sudden promotion in the world of hunting.

“You need to be familiar with the gun, this is about you killing your first tom. I’ll take pictures,” he said in response to my confused face.

That my friends, are the words to make any redneck girl’s heart go pitter-pat.

So outside we went, turkey target taped up to the side of the shed, we took our seats some distance away.

“Does this kick real hard?” I asked

“Ehhh, not… really,” *shrugs*

In my head, I was trying to convince myself he really meant “not really,” but deep down I knew what that meant. I was nervous to say the least…

A few practice tries and then it was the moment of truth, I loaded the gun and lined ‘er up.

BOOM.

Nailed it.

My Someone moved the turkey target to a tree, “I’m going to watch your form this time,” he said.
Editor’s note: Men are technical. In my world, I shot it, it’s dead. What does it matter how it got from point A to point B?

I once again put the sight on the top of the turkey and pulled the trigger.

Nailed it again.

“You took that like a boss!” “Perfect!” He said.

I wanted to be like, “yeah, I know.” *pops collar* *dusts off shoulders* but really, I was just thinking the heavens that the stars alined, the wind blew just right and by sheer luck I hit the target both times avoiding the embarrassment of being perceived as prissy.

The next morning I was pumped. It didn’t even matter that it was 4:30 a.m. I was finally going to have my own turkey. We got to our spot, sat everything up and waited.

An hour of sitting on the ground, completely still and silent while My Someone called back and forth with the turkeys in the distance gobbling at him. My eyes started to get heavy.

The next thing I know I was hearing, “How’s that turkey watching going?”
“Oh pretty good,” I responded hoping he hadn’t noticed I was asleep.
“Oh yeah, with your eyes closed?

Busted.

A couple of hours later, we still hadn’t seen anything. I couldn’t feel my legs …or my rear. I started getting fidgety. iPhone out, I started trying to make a Vine video.

I dropped my gun…

Recomposing myself, I waited a little while and gave it a second try.

I dropped my gun. Again.

“Really babe, REALLY?!?” he whispered.

As you can imagine, the toms of western Kentucky were spared for another day, and while I was unsuccessful in the transition of hunting/iPhone documentation, my counterpart posted this to Vine. Making me realize, that maybe THIS is why we didn’t see any turkeys.

Do you have any first hunting stories with your main squeeze? If so, I want to hear them. Till then, happiest of Fridays and merriest of weekends.