Dani's Dirt

Attention male population from teenage through 20’s, let me fill you in on a little secret. The good Lord takes into account all the wild crazy things you do through these years. Does he punish you? No, I believe he chuckles, stores those moments in a file and waits.

I like to picture God as a jolly, kind-hearted elderly gentleman with an incredible sense of humor. To each their own, you may disagree with me. (The Old Testament certainly does.)

Anyway, someday most of y’all will settle down, get married and start a family. This is when your payback will begin. There may come a time when God blesses you with a daughter who is just like YOU. *cue horror movie music*

Results of this genetic inheritance combined with “God-sent payback” may include:

• A call from the County Sheriff at two a.m. when daughter is caught climbing chat piles with her car.
• Bullet holes through the side of the tin barn. (You can bet your sweet biscuits that rodent is dead though.)
• Video footage shown at the FFA banquet of said daughter hot-rodding your F-350 around town.
• The need to dig graves, freeze boots and hang target practice signs in order to get the point across to any boy hanging around daughter.
• Finding yourself frequently quoted in Facebook status’

Just a few examples, I’m sure you get the point.

Side effects include:

• White hair
• Loss of sleep
• The knowledge that it is almost physically possible for smoke to come out of your ears when angry.

So boys, keep this in mind your day is coming, but as for you Dad… You’re welcome. You see all these years I’ve just doing my best to full-fill the mission God gave me.

I love you to infinity and beyond, Happy Father’s Day!